Gratitude

Lately I have been so grateful for my parents.

I believe we come here on earth as individuals with our unique gifts and strengths and weaknesses. I also believe our experiences with our parents and siblings mold us a lot. Peers may have some part in it too, or may not, depending on individual.  Eventually our own choices determine the way we are headed. 

My parents were no where perfect. As a teenager I could point out many things they did wrong. I still think many things could have been done differently. I've also always known they did their best with what knowledge and experience they had. 

I've followed some lives around me and realized how big a part my parents really have played in my life. Most of the good things I have I can lead to their teachings and actions. I hope I was able to show enough respect to my mother when she still lived and will be able to show enough respect to my father while he still is with us. 

One thing I've learned: No matter how much we want to hold our children responsible for their own actions, and yes, of course, to a point they are, often we miss the fact that really, very much is about what we do or don't do as parents. And we do need to take responsibility for that. Parenting is our responsibility. We are accountable for it. 

If I want my child to be a sports hero, I will have to do many things for that to happen. It is obvious. No matter how good at sports he seems to be, things don't just happen naturally. It's not enough to just occassionally go and play around. It will have to be our top priority.

It's exactly same if we want our children to be good people. If we want them to be charitable. Those who love their neighbours and God, when that is what is wanted. Then that has to be our top priority. It doesn't just happen naturally. We need to make choices that will help them become such.

I think the reason I am so grateful for my parents is that their priority was that their children would become good people, loving God. And they did their part. I hope my children can one day feel the same way.

Digging

Son, 9, had  a chance to go do something the parents thought he would enjoy. His first reaction was I don't want to. We were puzzled. How come. His second reaction was I don't want to. His last reaction was I don't want to. No matter how much discussion, digging out reasons, he could not tell why not. 

I could see there are many emotions involved. Most likely there isn't just one reason but many. Based of his previous experiences I could think quite a few that might be reasons. But he wouldn't fully agree on any of them. Some were perhaps, perhaps not, perhaps a little bit. He was quite agitated by not really knowing himself why, but feeling very strongly about it. 

Finally we stopped digging, boy and me. Never got to the bottom. Perhaps one day he'll know why. But I hope he got a feeling that it is important to try to understand why we do things and why we don't. Why we want to do something and why we don't. Why we feel the way we do. 

There are many things in life that prevent us from doing things we might enjoy or might be good for us. Often it's fear, perhaps based on previous experiences, sometimes it's wrong images of ourselves and our capacities. To live a full and satisfactory life it is important to try figure out those things that prevent us from thriving. And then do something about them.