Perfection

I know people who call themselves perfectionists. I'm not one of them. I know we all should strive for perfection - to be as good human beings as possible, in a philosophical or religious sense. I do strive for it but don't get too down when I fail - which I do all the time.

I think perfection may have gotten too big of a role in our societies. I know, perfection is nice. Who wouldn't want to look perfect, have a perfect house, have a perfect job, have perfect children and of course, have a perfect spouse... Perfect life would be wonderful. But at what cost should we strive for perfection.

I confess, I'm too lazy to do many things I could and probably should. I don't want to pay the prize, whether it's real money or something else.

I think it used to be more that it was the famous celebrities who tried to be so very perfect. At least on areas which are seen. I'm sure there has always been mothers who have perfected the art of needlework or household chores. I'm sure there's also been plenty of those who have done their best and thought it perfect because they really haven't had a chance to compare.

Now we have the internet full of examples of perfect lives or certain areas of lives. If nothing else there are blogs about perfect looking homes, perfect looking mothers, perfect looking children, sometimes even perfect looking husbands. All of those even often in one and same blog. Then we have blogs of perfect nature friendly living people, perfect child rearers, perfect cooks, perfect skinny cake makers... Not to mention all the tv shows about perfect lives.

Does anyone anymore settle for average, ok or I can live with this? I know everyone knows those blog keepers' lives really aren't perfect - right? We may tell that to ourselves to make us feel better, but still there might be a nagging feeling, that perhaps their life really is perfect. Perhaps it's something that so many people have attained, but not me. Perhaps there's something very wrong with me...

Just read an article written by a mother who's son committed a suicide at the age of 26. Everyone thought he had a good life. Perhaps many even thought it was perfect. There's about 1000 people in Finland per year, of whom is known for sure that they've committed suicide. That's about 1000 too many. I know there are so many reasons for it, it's never black and white. But I have a feeling that this kind of strive for perfection, as individuals in this society, isn't something that will help the number to decrease. Our strive for perfection in being a better person would. Because then we would notice each individual, care and act. Hopefully before it's too late.

Today's observations

As background, no news to those of you who know me, I'm the "sit still and behave" -type. At home kids may do all sorts, but even then I try to keep their voices low. Running is fine, shouting is not.

Today daughter started an art course at school. 10 times every Friday for 10 kids, taught by a real artist. Absolutely fantastic. (I hope. Was a bit disappointed that today's task was self portrait. In any way you like. Like it's the first thing kids do in preschool, school etc, so many times...) We had been told to wait on a certain area in the school building. Someone would come and get the kids and we adults there could ask questions. The area is situated "in between" - between the building with classrooms and the building with gym and dining area. There were 4 firstgraders- all girls -, three older girls and three thirdgrade boys. We all waited for some 10 minutes (who gets there right in time?). The boys were fooling around a bit, not running, not shouting. The vice headmistress comes and tells the boys to behave. Suggests (trying to command) the boys to go outside and wait. Soon comes the person to pick up the little artists and she tells that from now on they'll all have to wait outside.

What?  I'm fine with waiting outside. No problem with that. But I do have a problem that basically the boys were told that they are behaving badly, when in my opinion they weren't. Like said, my criteria is quite strict. They were being kids and being "punished" for it.

First, I think it's great they had the gut to come to an art class. It can be seen as a not boyish thing to do. They should be complimented for that, not told that if they don't behave they'll be kicked out - before nothing's really happened - and perhaps just because they're boys.

Second, no wonder kids are fat and don't exercise enough if even the slightest movement is considered bad and they're told to sit still and wait. After a school day. In a place where it cannot be a problem for anyone. Seriously.

I did voice my opinion, unfortunately wasn't quick enough to do it to the vice headmistress. I got this very broad explanation - as if I'd been the mother of the boys, though the lady knew I weren't. Had to explain that I am a teacher and still think the way I do.

Really, it's not easy to be a boy. Especially in school.

Blogielämää

Sain tällaisen tunnustuksen ystävältäni Jaanalta, joka on taiturimainen kakkujen tekijä ja pitää Taikakakku blogia, jossa jakaa tietojaan, kokemuksiaan ja kuvia ihanista luomuksistaan.

Olen ehkä vähän erakkoluonne. Vaikka pidänkin blogia, ja kaikki ovat tervetulleita lukemaan, en ole mielessäni liittynyt suureen blogiyhteisöön, jolle tällaiset tunnustukset ynnä muut ovat osa blogeihin liittyvää kulttuuria. Niinpä olen vähän ihmeissäni tämän kanssa, että mitä nyt...

Tähän tunnustukseen liittyy kolme vaatimusta: 1) kerro keneltä sait tunnustuksen ja linkitä hänet blogiisi, 2) kerro 7 random faktaa itsestäsi ja 3) jaa tunnustus eteenpäin 15 bloggaajalle. Ystäväni tavoin joudun myöntämään, etten lue niin montaa blogia, että voisin antaa tunnustuksen eteenpäin niin monelle. Suurin osa blogeista, joita seuraan silloin tällöin tai aktiivisemmin, on ystävieni tai tuttavieni kirjoittamia ja ei niin julkisia ehkä kuitenkaan. Ainoa, jota selkeästi useammin seuraan, ja joka on kaikinpuolin ihana, realistinen ja kaunis, on Anrinko -blogi, jolle siis tunnustuksen annan.

Mutta ne 7 random faktaa - nyt pyrin tosissani kertomaan sellaisia, joita nekään teistä ette tiedä, jotka oikeasti tunnette mut.

1. Pidän yöllä villasukkia jalassa, jäänyt päälle raskausajoista - tällä säällä on kolmet sukat päällekkäin. Kesällä voin olla ilman villasukkia.

2. Vedin kerran oppilaan alta tuolin ja hän tippui lattialle takapuolelleen.

3. Tykkään pelata shakkia silloin kun on aikaa ja vireystasoa keskittymiseen.

4. Olen pelannut jalkapalloa ja harrastanut telinevoimistelua.

5. Pidän puissa kiipeilystä.

6. Joskus tunnen sietämätöntä halua tehdä jotakin tyhmää, kuten piirtää jonossa edessä olevan ihmisen takkiin tussilla.

7. Rakastan jalapenoja.

No niin, tunnettepa nyt tätä blogistia hieman enemmän :-)

Thinking

This week our neighbours had a mother with two young children visiting them for a few days. The father of the family had just died in a car crash. A friend of a relative, man in his 40's, very healthy, in very good shape (quite well known athlete) had a heart attack just last week. He returned from skiing (cross country), said bye to his wife who left. She returned in a few moments to pick up something forgotten and found him lying on a floor. He has recovered -to a state of about a 10-year-old. Today I was driving and saw a man lying on the road next to his car, two people giving him CPR and an ambulance coming to rescue him.

Something can happen any time. We cannot live in a fear of something happening. But at times I really wish I'd realize how it all really can end any moment. It should affect how I treat people, especially my family. If these were the last words my kids hear from me, how would I feel? How would they feel? If I'd die today, would my children and spouse really know how much I love them and how important they are to me? If one in my family would die, would I be full of regrets or could I mourn peacefully?

Sometimes you just need to stop and think. What really matters? What really is important in this life?