Gifts

In this family we like to sing. But we really can't sing. I'm the best and I think I've lost it too. I mean seriously, staying in tune is impossible for 5/6 in this family. And often for me too when we all sing, loud and competing who can finish the song first. Sometimes everyone may hit the right note. Or pitch. Or tempo. Or what ever. But regardless of all that, we sing a lot and enjoy it.

We perform happy birthdays for family and one Christmas we sang We wish you a Merry Chistmas to selected people. One of the kids suggested we'd sing something to the neighbours this year too. I had to say no. It's kind of cute and forgivable when all kids are under 5. I just can't let us perfom as such anymore. Because now we're also loud.

But the problem is this: kids don't understand we may sound some what horrible. They think they sing well. They know the words. You hear sounds coming out of them and it's not just one sound but different sounds.

And if you try bringing it up in any gentle way that actually we're not good at singing, it's not taken well. They just cannot comprehend it. Nor believe it. The oldest was comparing himself after some musical performance to two cousins and two friends. Who actually are pretty good singers. He sees himself as good as them, somewhere in between, worse than some and better than some. How do I tell him that no son, really, you're way beyond them all.

It's not that we value music so highly or that it's the meaning of life. For us parents, it's fine that we can't sing. We still sing and it brings joy to us. We just know that listening to us may not bring joy but pain to some others. You don't want purposely hurt your kids by telling your kids that they're wrong, they can't sing at all. But I don't want them grow up thinking they have this great talent in singing, because one day that illusion will disapper and the reality will hit. I hope that when it happens, they still continue to sing and enjoy singing.

I was always hoping that one singer gene in their ancestry (professional I hear) would have appeared in at least one of them. But perhaps it's better that they're all on the same level. And there's hope, that piano will produce the right sounds via their fingers. At least the girls play now with two hands, which is more than I can say about myself.